Welcome and thanks for visiting my website. While I am a triathlete and coach I will also be using my site to try and be as informative as possible about issues that pertain to gays and lesbians.

I started this triathlon thing about 2 years ago (2006) after a long break from any real form of athletic training. Granted, I did run track and cross country for UCLA and had an amazing experience as a high school runner, but those days seem like another lifetime.

One of my main reasons for getting into triathlon was simply to try and get back into shape. I had gotten a bit soft. Coming from the perspective of the shape I am in now, I was FAT! I must be getting better at this tri thing since it is clear that I have developed that wonderful self awareness that makes you think you are fat if you miss a day of training. The other reason for going after triathlon like this is comes from a very personal place.

When I was in high school I was one of the top runners in the country at the time and had an awesome team behind me. It seemed that the potential I was showing in those early years could turn into a great running career in college. That “great” running career never happened. I suppose you could say that the downfall started at the end of my senior year. Ultimately I was dealing with being gay in silence and found the mental strain to be so hard on my mind and body that my running was clearly being killed. I guess you would call it depression, but whatever the case was, my ability to run and be happy in life was coming to a halt at light speed. Luckily I had a great cross country season and signed early with UCLA. The pressure to run well the rest of my senior year was in a way gone. I ended my Senior year without even getting out of my league in track. This was a guy that was a CIF Division 1 champ and 4th in the state that year. Having such a crap track season wasn’t so bad I guess because in many ways I think I felt that going to college would be a new start. I would be able to find my running once at UCLA and all these issues would just go away.

Once at UCLA the only thing I found was more discomfort and hard times dealing with being gay. The running got worse. The gay issue got stronger and stronger and when combined with the jump up in distance and having to race seasoned college guys and be happy with 60th place, you had one messed up athlete. I don’t want this to sound like UCLA was this horrific experience because I did make some of the best friends there and I did have a few good races. But ultimately in between all the wonderful moments was someone very unhappy and afraid of a society that he felt hated him. College was more of a time to learn about myself and deal with coming out than it was about running.

So now, as I enter my 30‘s, I feel I have a bit of a score to settle with myself. In the past 2 years I have grown as a triathlete rather quickly and find myself in a position to race professionally at the Ironman distance. My triathlon aspirations and goals are dedicated to that confused kid that should have raced like a gazelle in college but was too tormented by the battles in his head. Along with anyone else that may be having that same internal struggle. Hopefully my bloging and forum will be a tool to help other gay athletes (and non athletes) deal with some of the internal struggles that go on.

With all that said, I also plan to share what I have learned in this sport. I have been very fortunate to have had some of the best people in triathlon (past and present) show me the way thus far. Please feel free to share with me any of your thoughts you have regarding my posts. The internet is one of the best tools we have to open dialogue and learn so lets use it!

Cheers,
bdc